TITLE: The Autism Sibling Guide: Sibling Bonds and Beyond-Autism Family Compass Book 2 (Kindle Edition)
AUTHOR: Simon, Lee
SUBJECT AREA: Autism-Sibling Relationships
PUBLISHER: Independently Published
PUBLICATION DATE: 2025
NUMBER OF PAGES: 103 (for Hardback Edition)
REVIEW BY: Anne Carpenter
This little gem of a book is the second in the Autism Family Compass series that touches on such an important issue-the family dynamics between individuals and their siblings on the autism spectrum. The author, Lee Simon, who is a grandmother, does an interesting thing-she takes the viewpoint of a teenage boy with two brothers with autism who need a great deal of support, making family life much more complicated. This is a young adult book geared toward youth ages 10-18 and describes this unique sibling experience.
In Chapter 1, Our Shared Journey: Understanding the Autism Sibling Bond, the teenage boy learns to pick up on the nonverbal signals his brothers give off and becomes attuned to what they are trying to communicate, this indicates a true bond. This allowed him to see the fascinating and magical qualities in his brothers; he marveled at how Tommy organized his rock collection. He was taught this intricate system and found beach excursions enhanced by Michael’s intense fascination with marine biology. In addition, he was able to see early signs of something different-instead of siblings tearing boisterously through the house, there was silence while Tommy arranged his Hot Wheels collection. There was the anxiety when Michael’s routine was disrupted despite his brilliant talent for writing letters of the alphabet, then drawing something that started with each letter.
The author also describes the anger and frustration this boy felt when his siblings’ difficulties and needs got in the way of his needs, such as not being able to study for a history test because he had to calm Tommy down after a therapy session. There was also a tug of war; that of balancing the need to be protective of one’s autistic siblings and allowing for more growth and independence and it’s a struggle trying to figure out when to step in and when to just let things play out. But he learned to see the world through his siblings’ eyes as they did all they could to create order out of chaos.
Subsequent chapters describe how he learned how to communicate his own needs and the adjustments he had to make; family events required precise, military planning and there were frequent changes in plans to accommodate his siblings’ needs and that of the family. These included his social life and even career plans; he was offered a job in Seattle which he accepted, but the move was difficult and once again he was torn between his brothers’ needs and his own. What helped though, was an online forum for siblings and relatives that offered support.
This is an honest look at what it must be like to be a sibling of a person with autism, especially of someone who needs more supports like the two brothers needed and the mixed feelings one must have of being angry at not always having one’s own needs met yet being amazed at the sibling’s capabilities and growth over the years. I heartily recommend this book to all youth who have brothers or sisters with autism!