TITLE: Little Less Broken: How an Autism Diagnosis Finally Made Me Whole (Kindle Edition)
AUTHOR: Schembari, Marian
SUBJECT AREA: Autism-Adult Diagnosis
PUBLISHER: Flatiron Books (for Print Edition)
PUBLICATION DATE: 2024
NUMBER OF PAGES: 272 (for Print Edition)
As more and more adults come out of the proverbial “closet” and get a diagnosis of autism, it’s women who are now leading the charge against the prevailing male bias toward ASD in research and treatment that has gone on for years.
The author starts out by describing her childhood where she would display mannerisms such as moving her neck and sucking the ends of her hair. This was her way of discharging a great deal of energy and anxiety from an as yet unknown force. She describes her childhood, and I saw many parallels to my own, difficult childhood, with all the sensory bombardment and confusion over social functioning.
Despite a life without a rudder and the proper supports, Marian went through college and worked in the corporate world and dated Lewis and moved to New Zealand with him, but her problems followed her to that beautiful country and as sweet and generous as he was the relationship came to an end. She met her second husband, Elliott, on OKCupid, and they clicked almost instantly, and married. He turned out to be the most wonderful, kind, generous man and they embarked on a very positive marriage as he was not on the autism spectrum, but was “nerdy,” so they may have had some qualities in common. In spite of her difficulties, they had a daughter named June, but she found parenting difficult because of the sensory overload involved in parenting and not being sure how to respond when her daughter kept asking to hear Baby Shark over and over again and she resorted to yelling at poor little June.
The author also described the terrible sensory overload involved in her corporate jobs with their open plan offices where she’d often escape to the bathroom and her difficulties with the office culture. She described a “bonding” camping trip that she was required to attend as part of her work and it turned out to be a disaster for her. Nevertheless, she soldiered on, raising June and was supported by a loving husband. She wondered though if she might have had autism and after seeing a social media video of a woman who was diagnosed with autism in adulthood she decided to explore that possibility for herself.
Finally, at the age of 34 she was diagnosed by a wonderful therapist over Zoom and started to feel validated as I did when I was diagnosed at the age of 30! The author then worked on strategies to be more comfortable with people as she had been seen as prickly and hard to be with because of her sensory and socialization issues for so long and she found ways to be more patient with her daughter and to communicate with June in more constructive ways. To Ms. Schembari, as with me, the diagnosis was everything. It was the magic door that opened to reveal a brighter future and a path to a better life.
I loved this book, as it was so heartfelt and well-written and I identified with the author in so many ways even though I never married or had children and never worked in the corporate world, but much or her experience with autism overlapped with mine. This is an important issue, as autism is still seen as a children’s disorder and we need to, as Ann Landers put it, “Wake Up and Smell the Coffee” as more and more adults, especially women, emerge into the daylight as AUTISTIC. In addition, I was fascinated by the author’s discussion of the male bias surrounding autism and how that has shortchanged women with ASD. This is a unique book that all women with autism and their partners should read!